


Mastering the Art of Home Cooking

by beenwandering, cheese, gfeather, pen_rabbit, sabriel75



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Food Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 09:16:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beenwandering/pseuds/beenwandering, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheese/pseuds/cheese, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gfeather/pseuds/gfeather, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen_rabbit/pseuds/pen_rabbit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabriel75/pseuds/sabriel75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin teaches Arthur how to cook, from the ingredients to the preparation. It’s a <strike>hand</strike> hard job, but someone’s got to do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mastering the Art of Home Cooking

Once upon a time...

On a dark and stormy night...

Arthur decided to make lasagna....

“You can’t just stick it straight in! That’s not how it works, Arthur.” Merlin rolled his eyes and shoved against Arthur, knocking him away from the cold oven and snatching the metal tray out of his hands. 

“You have to preheat it first. Don’t you know anything?”

“But I want lasagna now!” Arthur complained. “And of course I don’t know how to cook. That’s your job.”

“I’m your boyfriend, not your personal chef,” Merlin replied tartly.

Arthur took advantage of the fact that his hands were now empty, reaching out to run soft fingers down the nape of Merlin’s neck, making him shiver. “You are whatever I want you to be and you know it, _Mer_ lin.”

And _gods_ , Merlin did know it. His skin tingled with the contact, and he felt himself lean in to Arthur’s hand, his body now practically thrumming with the thought of it. He looked down at the tray in his hands. All that cheese just oozing over the broad planes of pasta, dripping with sauce... He was really hungry.

Merlin put the pan down and turned back towards the oven, setting it to the preheat temperature before grabbing Arthur’s wrist and leading him into the family room. “It’s going to be a while before we can put it in.”

“Oh, I think it will be sooner than you think,” Arthur said with a leer.

Merlin gave Arthur a little come-hither grin. “Are you going to preheat me?”

“Oh, I’m certain I can manage that.”

Arthur pushed Merlin onto the sofa and proceeded to nibble along the line of Merlin’s jaw, then moved up to trace the tip of his tongue along the edge of Merlin’s ear, breath warm on his skin. But while his mouth was languid and teasing, his hands were anything but, scrabbling desperately at Merlin’s belt and zip. Merlin caught Arthur’s hands in his and entwined their fingers together, shaking his head with a small smile.

“Mmm, not yet.”

“Just how hot do you have to be before I can put it in?” Arthur pouted.

Merlin turned his head and grinned, pressing his lips to Arthur’s temple, “You don’t want to get it too hot or it might burn.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means slow down, you prat, I want it to last a bit.”

“I think I’m good for more than a bit,” Arthur murmured.

Merlin pushed up against Arthur and after a few moments of awkward shifting, involving an elbow to the stomach and some playful giggles, he managed to roll himself on top and shoved Arthur’s shoulders back against the cushions.

“Stay still. I’m going to teach you about proper preparation for... cooking,” Merlin said, still trying to stifle a giggle that was not in any way girlish.

“Have you been in the cooking wine?” Arthur asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Maybe a little,” Merlin said, leaning his head in towards Arthur and brushing their lips together. “Though I’m fairly sure you’re not supposed to put alcohol in lasagna.”

He pulled away briefly and waited for Arthur to make a snappy retort. When none came, he grinned widely, fingers slipping under Arthur’s shirt.

“First,” Merlin’s voice was barely a whisper, “you need to make sure you have all the necessary ingredients.”

Arthur was breathless beneath him, his hands stilled at his sides when he asked softly, “And- do you have them? All the necessary ingredients?”

Merlin kissed Arthur more deeply. “Mmm, check.” He moved his mouth down Arthur’s jaw, leaving a damp trail. When he reached the collar of Arthur’s shirt he made a small noise of disapproval.

“Hm, looks like we forgot to peel these off...” Merlin giggled a bit and turned to face Arthur seriously, as his hands roamed to the bottom hem of Arthur’s t-shirt. “You must always remember to peel all the vegetables as you’re prepping them, and get rid of the unnecessary layers.”

Under him, Arthur lifted up, and together they managed to remove his tight tee without either of them getting injured.

“I wouldn’t necessarily compare myself to a vegetable,” Arthur said with a smirk.

Merlin’s hand drifted down toward the waist of Arthur’s jeans, toying with the button there, the back of his hand ghosting over Arthur’s cock, hot and hard, trapped beneath the tight denim. “A cucumber perhaps,” Merlin teased.

Arthur took a sharp breath and attempted to quickly close the distance between them, almost knocking them both to the floor.

“Ah ah ah!” Merlin tutted. “You should make sure everything is ready before you start. We haven’t finished taking stock of what we have, or prepped at all.”

Merlin ran his hands up and down Arthur’s finely toned chest. His fingers traced the taut muscles and thumbs brushed over sensitive nipples. “Check,” he said again.

Arthur leaned into the touch, almost purring as Merlin ran slow, gentle fingers over his chest, around his back, and down to the waistband of the jeans that still hugged his waist before reaching around to cup his arse. “Mmmmm, yes, Merlin.”

“Remind me...,” Merlin murmured, palming Arthur’s arse, his lips nipping at Arthur’s neck, “To teach you the merits of basting at some point in the future.”

Arthur’s eyes were bright with laughter as he pulled Merlin’s mouth into a fierce, possessive kiss. When he pulled away, he kept one hand at the back of Merlin’s head, holding their faces close together.

“One more,” Merlin murmured against Arthur’s lips. He dragged his hands slowly around Arthur’s hips. Arthur bucked under Merlin’s touch. Deft fingers worked the button open and slowly pulled the zipper down. Arthur’s breathing sped up in anticipation.

Merlin slipped his hand beneath Arthur’s waistband, happy that Arthur preferred to go commando when his fingertips brushed against hot bare skin. He simply smirked and wrapped his fingers around Arthur’s already leaking cock. “And check. The main ingredient is present.”

Arthur’s head fell back, eyes closed. It looked like it was a huge effort for him to open them back up, to look down his chest at Merlin’s hand, then back up. His voice shook a little when he asked, “S- so is it all prepped now? Am I all prepped?”

Merlin’s hand lightly rubbed at Arthur’s cock. “You feel prepared to me, Arthur.” He smirked. “But I’d better make sure.”

He slithered down to kneel in front of the sofa, looking up through his lashes at Arthur’s flushed face as he leaned in to press his lips to the hot, throbbing cock. Arthur’s head dropped back against the soft fabric of the cushions as Merlin flicked his tongue over the head, tasting the salty fluid before taking him deeper into his mouth, fingers trailing slowly over Arthur’s thighs as he sucked. Arthur threaded fingers through Merlin’s hair, tangling and clutching as he groaned, and Merlin would have smiled if he could. Instead, he hummed and sucked harder, fingers brushing up to that space between Arthur’s legs, stroking in the way that always pushed Arthur just that little bit closer to losing control. Arthur’s hips bucked, but Merlin just opened his mouth wider and took him deeper still. Arthur groaned again, hands tight in Merlin’s hair, twitching and grasping and then tugging hard.

Merlin slid down once more, tongue pressed along the underside of Arthur’s cock, before pulling off with a pop and looking up at him, licking his lips and raising a hand to wipe his mouth. “What?”

“I think you need to stop that, or we might not get to the main course.”

Merlin huffed a laugh. “I thought you were hungry now.”

Arthur trailed shaky fingers over Merlin’s face and traced his jawline. “Yes, but I have something more filling for both of us in mind.”

Merlin smiled up at him, and then moved his mouth back down to press a kiss to the head of Arthur’s twitching cock before sitting up. “Hmm... sounds like a delicious plan.”

Arthur reached out to tug Merlin up to join him on the sofa again. “And what about you, Merlin?” Merlin blinked at him, confused. “Shouldn’t I prep you?” Arthur explained as his thumb rubbed against Merlin’s cheekbone. “Every main dish needs embellishments and things.”

Merlin chuckled “Side dishes? Garnishes?”

“Yes. Those.” Arthur pressed a kiss to Merlin’s lips, smiling into it.

“I’m a side dish, am I?” Merlin asked teasingly.

Arthur laughed, “Sometimes that’s the best part of the meal!”

“In that case, I do need to be prepped,” Merlin shifted against Arthur and dropped a kiss to Arthur’s collarbone before leaning back and wriggling out of his shirt. “Side dishes need to complement the main course, and since our main’s a vegetable,” he smirked at Arthur’s indignant huff, “we need some meat to stuff with it.”

Merlin grinned at Arthur and extracted himself from the sofa, hands roaming down his bare chest to his jeans. “Before you can stuff any meat, Arthur, it needs to be tenderized.”

Merlin unbuttoned his jeans and yanked them down with his boxers, holding back a moan as the fabric caught against his hard cock. He stepped out of the mess of bottoms and couldn’t help reaching toward his cock and jerking himself a few times, his other hand roaming backwards. Merlin’s voice broke on a moan, as he explained, “Tenderizing is the culinary term for making sure it’s properly loose, and ready to be filled.”

Arthur groped blindly for the drawer of the table next to the sofa, not wanting to break eye contact with Merlin. He managed to pull it open, fumbling for the discreet tube kept there. Merlin reached over and grabbed it before Arthur could, flicking open the lid.

Arthur snatched it from him. “Hands-on experience is the best kind.” Arthur informed Merlin, smirking. “How will I learn if you do everything for me?”

Merlin rolled his eyes but climbed back onto the couch, “Don’t let me get in the way of your experiential learning then, master chef.”

Arthur grinned at him, slicking his fingers in lube before dropping the tube onto the floor and reaching for Merlin. He slid one hand down Merlin’s soft, smooth back while the other reached around and pressed gently against the tight warmth he found there.

Merlin moaned softly as Arthur pushed, first one, then a second slick finger into him, rocking his hips back against the pressure. “Yesssss... Arthur, oh, yes.”

Arthur moved his hand slowly, the other anchoring him to Merlin as he pumped his fingers in, out, in, and out. Merlin twitched and squirmed against the gentle, smooth movements, rolling his hips to get more pressure, but Arthur held him against the couch and kept his pace relentlessly slow.

“Tender enough yet?” Arthur asked quietly, fingers ghosting over Merlin’s prostate and making him jerk helplessly.

Merlin moaned again. “Fuck, Arthur, yes. Yes, please, I need you now. I’m ready, just please!”

Arthur pulled Merlin onto his lap and hissed as Merlin raised himself enough to let Arthur push up and in.

“So hot..” Arthur whispered, almost reverently, hands gripping Merlin’s hips.

“Like an oven?” Merlin giggled, grinning cheekily.

Arthur swatted at his arse, and then toppled Merlin over onto his back across the length of the couch. Merlin laughed, and wriggled underneath him, and then gasped as Arthur’s cock pressed against that spot deep inside. Arthur realigned himself at Merlin’s pleading whine and thrust in hard, making both of them groan with pleasure. They established a rhythm, rocking against each other, Arthur’s hands on Merlin’s hips while Merlin ran greedy hands over Arthur’s back, shoulders, chest, touching wherever he could reach, head thrown back and mouth moving as he babbled. “Oh, yes, Arthur, please. Harder, please, yes!”

Arthur leaned in and caught Merlin’s mouth in a kiss, tongues twining as they moved together. Merlin was gasping now, writhing under Arthur, each thrust pushing him closer as he scrabbled desperately at Arthur’s back. Arthur moved faster, driving in harder and harder, angling so that every thrust of his hips brought his cock to that spot inside that made Merlin cry out. Arthur reached in between them and wrapped one hand around Merlin’s twitching, leaking cock, jerking it in time to his own movements, and Merlin keened high and loud as he came, spurting all over his stomach and chest.

Arthur shuddered at the tight clenching of Merlin’s arse on his cock, thrusting harder still. It only took a few more strokes before Arthur was tipping over the edge, and he collapsed onto Merlin, panting and shuddering with pleasure.

Both of them lay still, breathing heavily, lazy fingers brushing over faces, lips, cheekbones. Arthur leaned up, resting on his elbow, looking down at the sticky come now spread over Merlin’s stomach, some clinging to his own. Merlin trailed his fingers through it and wiped it unceremoniously on Arthur’s pecks, rubbing it in. At Arthur’s questioning look, he simply said, “Basting.” Before Arthur could reply, his stomach rumbled, and they both laughed.

“The oven’s probably ready,” Arthur said, smiling.

Merlin glanced at the wall clock and chuckled, “Oh, definitely, but we will have to take care of one more important step once the lasagna is in the oven,” he told Arthur.

“What’s that?” Arthur asked, hand idly running along Merlin’s side.

“Every good chef knows that a clean kitchen is absolutely essential,” Merlin stated.

Arthur turned his head towards Merlin, lips grazing his shoulder as he said. “Oh. So we need to do the washing up.”

Merlin smiled. “Exactly.”

“For once, I think I’ll gladly volunteer to help with that,” Arthur said with a wide grin.

Merlin shook his head. “If that’s all it takes to get you wet and soapy...,” he trailed off.

Arthur got to his feet and offered a hand to pull Merlin up. As they passed through the kitchen on the way to the bathroom, Arthur glanced at the uncooked pan of lasagna sitting on the counter.

“I know I’m no expert, but the oven really _is_ ready now, right? Preheated and all?”

Merlin stared at Arthur for a long moment - hair tousled, cheeks flushed, and loopy grin making him look like a crazed chef after creating the perfect meal - before he burst out laughing. 

Crowding in, Merlin dropped a kiss on Arthur’s lips and whispered, “I love you.”

...and walked over and popped the pan in the oven. 


End file.
